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Sunday, February 12, 2012

i try

i just got to know that he still hasnt gotten over me after 8 months. I almost laughed at the irony of it because looking at the bigger picture, all i see is a fucking love triangle. Here comes an ex who hasnt gotten over me, but im loving a guy who hasnt gotten over HIS ex, but his ex is attached to someone else already. seriously? Seriously god? now u are making ME feel guilty for fucking over a capable and goodlooking guy. apparently 6/8 months ago i wouldve jumped at the opportunity of getting back with taufiq but the frustrating thing is whenever someone wants me back, i lost feelings for them already. WHY CANT THEY EVER WANT ME WHEN I WANT THEM? why must they act like total jerks while im still so in love with them and then regret and whine like babies AFTER i found someone new and when i try to tell them that "im sorry but u treated me like shit last time" they still have the fucking CHEEK to push the blame back to me by saying that "you made mistakes too". Hey asshole, my kind of person will NEVER cheat if someone is treating me right. thats just asking for it. so anyway i was more pissed than touched at the fact tht he hasnt moved on because he hasnt changed ONE BIT. Still a fucking child. I cant believe a human being like this exists. Such a waste. So good looking but so so Unbelievably annoying and.. I know him too well and and i am truly disgusted by his attitude and way of life. Apparently now he is the talk of the town, i guess. with girls all being like "ooo taufiq tyga is so handsome" and "oo who is this taufiq he is so cute ooo" and im over here like..."hahaha bitch....u dont know shit!" at least i can smile to myself knowing that these dumb girls dont know fucking shit about him and i wish them luck. But sometimes i catch myself thinking that maybe just maybe i should get back with him because as much of an asshole he is sometimes, he is the ONLY guy who accepts me 100% flaws and all but No, im not gonna hurt him like last time. Im not gonna hurt him just because i am alone, desperate, and unsure. U know how horrible the feeling is? Faking a relationship just so that you can trick your mind into thinking youre not alone, forcing yourself to love him so you wont think
About the one you really love? I tell u this, its a horrible, gut wrenching feeling and even after u break up, u will still feel the aftermath of fucking a good guy up just because of Ur own selfish needs. U know, something called karma. And that shit has no mercy i tell you this

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Metronomy - Not Made For Love

i always pretend to be happy but i know that 2012 is not going to be a good year for me

did i tell u guys that
i hate my face
i hate my body
i hate my life
i hate the fact that
a guy
keeps making me believe that im not good enough
for anyone
i cant believe that stupid teenage infatuation
is making such a big impact on me
what about other people in this world
who have bigger problems
like taking care of their broken family
like fighting to be alive everyday in a war-torn country
like being bullied at school and having no friends
like having a sexually abusive dad
like.. being made to work in a factory and paid like,50 cents per day
.....and here i am worrying about a PETTY boy

i am a pathetic shallow human being

its really hurtful you know
it really really hurts

pls god, take away this pain
or open his heart
or just kill him

ok i take that back the killing him part