Okay so i woke up like 30 mins ago. I dreamt that some indian guy from a mama shop gave me and fathin 2 bottles of cough syrup. So when i woke up, without brushing my teeth or whatever,i went to the kitchen, looked in the fridge and got myself 2 bottles of cough syrup both having a considerable amt of syrup left. (i rly am picking a lot of bad habits frm you) And then my mum suddenly came in the picture and she said she wanna talk to me about my studies andddd-let's skip that part. So i went down got one huge bottle of coke the 1.5 litre one, cos i always see them wasted myanmar dudes at cityhall with the bigass coke bottles. and while im at it,i kinda had this conversation with...myself. "so this is ur miserable attempt of trying to get high just to fight the low?" and im like..."err,hellyeah?" so that settles our debate. But is still considered a debate eventho im talking to myself? ............so i went back home, idk wht the hell im doing, i just drank that shit-tasting syrup(all of em) and drank my coke and yea i stuffed and inhaler up my nose..... ...... ..... So i waited. And waited. And nothing happen. No sudden feeling of euphoria.
Nothing. No high. So that is my failed attempt of being a myanmar dudette. The end .............Ok wait its not THE end but its just The End of my myanmar story cos im still gonna blog and fyi im blogging on my phone, lying down, steam-eyed. While lstening to Thunder-boys like Girls,no special reason behind it, its just the first song that plays. So anyway i read my twitter timeline and theyre all so hyped up abt newyear and im here being a potato and potating the last day of 2011 away. And i kinda like this, this moment of solitary relaxation,nothing crazy nothing loud. Just me. My phone. And trippy gay songs. Then at night i will end my 2011 in a simple way. Just me. And clarity. Starting 2012 in a whole new different light, its almost like i have kaladeiscope glasses..in my mind. So yeah. And the cough syrup is upsetting my stomach but i think it also makes me feel relaxed and chillaxy and drowsy. And sleepy. And im tryna not to sleep bcos it will go to Waste, this chillaxy feeling. eventho i think the desired effect is not this, what im feeling now, i gues its better than being,FULLY conscious. This lousy kind of high is enough for me, it beats not having anything. So i think my motto of 2012 is; "I get high just to fight the low" and that is courtesy of Mr J.Cole, from a song i alwys listen to when i feel miserable and very much appropriately titled 'Cheer Up' idk why i can stand only J Cole rapping and maybe sometimes big sean. But mostly its J cole cos his songs like....speak to me. But not now. I dont want J cole to speak to me yet. I rly feel like sleeping now...omg this drowiness rly making me so light headed. Wow this is nice. Its such a harmless sensation that you feel everyday but being conscious of you feeling this way just heightens the feeling more and you know this feeling its like, just normal drowsiness but i dk la once u aware of it, u will appreciate it and notice the difference(?) dk what im talking about. Ok anyway i dont rly have 2012 resolution. I dont even want to make a resolution its just pointless,
for what? For what. Thats the two words that explains EVERYTHING abt newyr resolutions;FOR WHAT. Making resolutions is like creating false hope for the whole 12 months of 2012 cos admit it no one rly accomplishes their resolutions because they always
Set the crappiest ones that they cant even control like "i dont want to fall in love' 'single for 2012 Yay'...come on that is like pissing Fate on his face, you cant detetmine that shit,you cant. And clearly resolutions have lost their meaning because you cannot RESOLVE anything, and by resolve it means solve. And how do u solve smtg if you cant control it 'specially something intangible like feelings. If u want to be thin then obviously u cn control it, control eating habits...possible or not is another story but able to control? Yes of course. But i think i know why we say stuff like that. Its just a Way of coping with all that bullshit 2011 moments, i rly dont know how my 2012 will be,its like the foggiest year cos i dont know whats in front of me, i dont know what to expect AT ALL seriously. Last 2010 at least i havr a general Picture of whats gonna happen on 2011, i have sch to look forward to, i have like a rough sketch but for 2012 its like a completely blank slate. Idk whether i be schlin or workin idk whats so gonna happen to my social life,as scary the thought of not having a future is, its somehow exciting not to have the slightest idea. Like this line frm a movie watched. let me quote, "Just wing it.".....just fucking run ahead, and we'll deal with it when happens. Idk whether this makes e sound like a lazy,unambitious pessimist or a spontaneous risk taker. Maybe im both (pessimist 60% risk taker 40%) hey sounds like paradox, pessismistic risktaker. Willing to take a risk but alwys expecting the worst. How like that. Can make it or not in singapore like this? Haha. I am such a lost cause.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
To feel so clear-headed but be so delusional.
"You have the power to make everything okay.
I think that’s what kept me so sane and so happy the whole time, is my ability to disregard things and be okay with them no problem."
Thursday, December 22, 2011
22 december. a few more days and it'll be the end of 2011,this year has been an awesome year for me in a sense that i learn alot of new things, did alot of new stuff and basically have 101% freedom,no holds barred.
eventho currently i am really aimless lifeless jobless school-less
eventho currently i am really aimless lifeless jobless school-less
2010 fireworks. such beautiful fireworks but i watched them with such a sad heart,i forced myself to go out with a boy to forget my ex and i pretended to have such a good time on countdown and it really sucked because all i keep thinking was "this is not fun. why am i here. i miss you. why." and i dont want to experience that again this year eventho i've just been dumped this month and i didnt see it coming because he seemed like he was so into me turns out that he is abit mental because he left me with no apparent reason and the reason that he gave is actually a blatant lie so basically i can conclude that he left without a reason
Monday, December 19, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
reviving the blog back to life
just showing off my pits Har Har... told you plucking is good
for anyone who shaves ur pitty hair,throw away all ur shavers.buy a plucker and start plucking those hairs,it has become my fav past time,plucking pitty hair ~(-_-)~
for anyone who shaves ur pitty hair,throw away all ur shavers.buy a plucker and start plucking those hairs,it has become my fav past time,plucking pitty hair ~(-_-)~
myra"kau nampak mak die buat die mcm anjing"
who the hell puts leashes on their children,eventho its not ard his head but still,its just not..right
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
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