shaving soon. very soon. i asked my sister
menyesal shave? then she was like...yes, mira rase mcm mira bukan perempuan.mcm something missing. then i was like..giving her The Look. this certain look like eyebrows scrunched up in a questioning way deciding whether the person is kidding or not? yes that kind of look. i think she means it. but....im still gonna give it a try. but im shaving only one side,while my sister shaved both. im still deciding whether to make lines or not. my friend said that making lines will cause the hair to grow unevenly = shitty hair but then..it looks so badass u know. ombre-ing can wait.

anyway just now i had lunch with taufiq,his sister and her boyfriend and the sister is downrite gorgeous even without makeup and wearing a daddy-looking shirt. u know the shirts that dads wear. and after the boyfriend drove me to 168 bus stop,they got into an accident. i got to know when taufiq posted on my wall with a picture of a car with the front crushed,and i was like FUCK! U SURE THIS IS YOUR SIS BF'S CAR? then he showed a picture of the car with his sister's bf in the picture and i was like fuck fuck fuck it is his car. and im like ... are u guys okay??? thank god they are. i am so glad he is okay. so so glad. can you like see the damage?? this is some intense shit!

Click to go to my newly opened bloggy shoppy.happy rite happy rite!!
will add more stuff soon xx

i wore this to town yesterday.so different until people find it hard to recognize me. plus i wear spectacles some more. im on to something.. hehe

stayed at home today and yeah my hopes of having my appeal approved is dissipating by the minute so yeah..and because of this i. have. no. mood. to. study. 

i want to do something with my hair. thinking of ombre-ing it. saving up cash tho.

lesson learnt: when a guy sleeps, let them sleep. cos if you wake him up prepare to meet Mr Crankier Than A PMS-ing Bitch.that was what i experienced today. i was waking him up cos i wanted to go home and he was like give me 10 more mins...then he was like give me another 30 mins..and in the end,obviously he didnt really wake up. its more like: open eyes, talk in a groggy way, eyes half-open and then back to sleep. so in the end i walked to the bus stop alone. but i dont care cos i was blasting Nipsey Hussle in my ears and surely i looked badass and not pathetic - right? no?

yesterday went scape and........i got my samurai burger and i swear he looks hot that day in the long sleeved shirt IN WHICH HE CHANGED AND WORE A TEE INSTEAD. my "boyfriend" that is*who is not really yet my boyfriend* come to think of it,i prefer us being this way, not in a relationship but still treating each other like we're in one. i think this whole status thing actually pressurizes people you know? they start being all paranoid and controll-y and shit. and their trust starts to waver. i noticed. that this always happens. dating period: perfect,everything smooth. the moment they are ready to commit: BAM everything goes wrong,its like we try too hard you know. just because of status. and its not even a legal bond. think u guys, do u see where im coming from here?

i guess i'll cop myself a whole bunch of jeans and tshirts because thats all i will be wearing now.

pardon my face heheheheeheh today lepak aisyah braid my hair me likey

they are my best mates at school, plus hyhy and princess and ika and christine xoxoxo

me = bored = corny videos

hi i wrote my appeal letter already wish me all the best,if i am still debarred i think i might as well just call it quits and have a job as a cleaner, and i will never reach my dreams of a stable job + happy family + nice car and apartment

i feel lazy to wear make up anymore (for the moment),so right now e only make up i wear is za foundation + bedak yang putih2 tu yang 2 dollar plus hahahaha i donno whats happening to meh

i made this for baby:D only from coloured papers + wrapping paper, loads of glue, abit of tape here and there + black marker. so this is the thing that i spent the whole morning + evening doing he he he

ok so spent my friday town-ing wit baby,nick,basil,adib + my girls. they looked great as usual. and idk why my face sucks in every picture taken using a dslr. after that 65-ed to tamp -> sleepover at isma house.we discovered this website that scared the fuck out of us but in e end it was a scam-.-

stayed home yesterday and today. i got debarred for 3 modules so i had to write an appeal letter which i donno whether it will get approved or not. sighs. watching Juno right now,movie about a pregnant 16 year old girl and that movie made me think of taufiq in a way. i mean,not in the im-pregnant-because-of-him way but in a lovey dovey kind of way. cos i cant imagine being with someone else but him. i can imagine living with him, having kids with him, and fighting everyday but then make out passionately after that. yeah, that'll be something to look forward to in my bleak future

outfit for the day- bodysuit: topshop/high waisted jeans: miss selfridge/ platforms: online

sometimes i cannot find the right song in my itunes to play and then i just close it. then i feel like im missing something o.O pictures from yesterday are uploaded let me resize them and stuff. right now i have this feeling, like...something is not right. and my gut feeling never fails me :-/

photoshoot later with the rest
i have a suprise for baby today. its time i took my artsy fingers to work so it took my whole yesterday morning+evening to do and i really2 put effort into it, plus i enjoyed myself. it doesnt cost alot but its the thought that counts ;)

before you start hating on people pls remember that whatever u criticize about them comes from the same god that created you. so indirectly it will be like, blasphemy and blasphemy is a really really sinful thing and you wouldn't want that would you? :(

i miss looking like this seriously. it was one of the days where i feel all confident and in control. plus aesthetically pleasing too, which happens only in rare occasions. i think i should start using my garnier cream all over again. skin getting so damn tanned thanks to working at sentosa. no more working for me again. unless its retail-ish and without sun. but actually my tanned skin not bad,just needs a lil glow. confirm look like sunkissed beach babe already...or not 

the problem with malays is that our blood is so mixed up we dunno if we legit malays or not. i got bugis + malay blood + maybe a little chinese from my great great grandma or something. thats all i guess. but i think its my bugis blood that gives me that prominent jaw line plus indian-ish nose cos bugis ppl usually have strong features, which can either be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how well the features harmonize with the rest of the face. for me, i like my jawline because it gives my cheeks contour and some ppl kill to have that:) u know...the ones where u have to put a lot of bronzer to get that facial contour? yah my one is au natural. but its not really that profound but based from my run-of-the-mill genetic make up i  will say that i got it good. for my nose..its bulbous at the end but the bridge is quite sharp although it tends to be a little too harsh for a lady but whatever. the downside is ma features makes me look like a manwhore sometimes. + the only way to show my barely-there cheek bones is to pout in such a way that i look like a steroid-induced man of a woman. and trust me its not easy feat mastering the perfect way of pouting to showcase my cheekbones at its optimum level

i miss my bangs. anyway last night while i was bathing the water kena my legs and goosebumps rose and it make my eczema look so disgusting, and i seriously cant take it and i cried. i cried for a good 5-10 mins and it was the worst feeling u know,feeling ugly. seriously this eczema thing is really taking a toll on me. it is affecting me not just physically but mentally and emotionally. but fuck that anyway listening to cee lo - fuck you now.i want my eyebrows to grow very thick that i'll thread them. i swear i love it when that indian lady thread my brows, + indians have beautiful eyebrows. 

anyway last 2 nights went to Soul and my intention was to dance the night away but had a horrible fight wit taufiq where i think we nearly got physical. but it ended as abruptly as it started. yeah we're usually like that..fighting2 but at e end of e day ok alr. and both of us saw our ex-es there and i was like "eh your ex heheh" then he was like "tu ex u heheh" it feels liberating you know:)

yesterday and today sucks ah seriously. so much for valentines day. sucks balls ah
i dont care already, u wait one month later i transform become girl_hottie with nice hair all u wait and see

its been a one month wait and finally baby's fatlace x illest shirt arrive!!! he still dont want to go and take e package.im all excited since its super nice and plus they dont sell it anymore at the website i just checked

tmr gonna be an awesome day eventho we just fought (mcm biasa jugak) planning for chocolate fondue-ing + dinner and spend the night together. omg omg omg i just remembered the perfect spot to catch fireworks. SUPER STOKED!!eventho my hair gonna be like shit for that day since i got posessed by my evil alter ego who made me cut my extensions + 2-5 cm of my OWN hair. i dont even know what the hell i was thinking. ergh

Billionaire Boys from Jai Krish on Vimeo.

i guess.....he's gonna leave me soon

muka da macam taik mulut pun mcm taik. ni ah sutkia yang tak reti budi. kimak nak jadi penembak pun BUSOK punya penembak. kau mati pun bagus ah takpaya susahkan sesiapa pat dunia ni

like ugly as shit scene kid wannabe hahaha with the straightass hair

okay i've been bloghopping just now and i notice that..i am such. a. bitchy. blogger. which makes me feel kind of rotten. some are just so nice, so classy..and they treat haterz with grace which i can never ever do since i am a person of high temperament level and..born bitchy by nature. i am judgemental and conceited but that doesnt make me a bad person cos...i have good stuff abt me too..like.. i like cats. nice people like cats.

ok so for e slumber party it was fun ofcourse, my memory of the thing abit cloudy already..but i knew we did have a pillowfight,manicure session,gossiping session,MeanGirls2 session + another movie which i forgot and...stuff our faces with food session

so apparently i was low self esteem-ing in discreetion during the sleepover cos i felt so dickfaced among all my luvly girls but nvm that :)

MANFACE

sometimes i think im pretty and sometimes(most of e times) i think im just an ugly mofo but that doesnt mean other ppl can call me ugly. ok that sounds so...conceited but seriously cos i know im not ugly(and u know that too its just that u are in self denial and that ur vision is too clouded by ur overwhelming sense of hatred towards me)  

ok 4 days of not meeting him makes me depressed.i dont care already,must quit work,so i can meet my baby
my sister says im getting uglier nowadays,true dat true dat
1) double treatment scalp + hair
2) buy a more reliable straightener/or maybe go for rebond
3) get freakin extensions (its been so long since i nvr wear extensions)
all of this will cost me around $400/+++
and then make up..
Benefit lip tint. revlon/dior mascara and what else...oh yeah sephora face palatte and canmake eyeliner
this would then cost me.....around $200 (cheaper alternatives would cost me ard $100)
so i had to let go of clothes for this month FML

sometimes i would be ashamed of my eczema whenever i wear shorts around taufiq but then he never failed to make my heart all mushy.. *flashback*

janny- b i lapar
taufiq - ok i amekkan u tomyam
*he goes out of his room*
*comes back later with a small bowl*
janny - itu bukan tomyam (then i look carefully) dont tell me its air garam!!! *GROANING*
taufiq - b...u nak baik tanak?
janny - tapi nanti pedih :( dan i malu :(
taufiq - ape i kisah!
then he start to take tissue and dip into the salt water and rub it on my fugly as fuck legs
and he did it with such love and gentleness in his eyes i feel like dying..or marrying him or something
and whenever i feel cranky cos he has this habit of replying my long msges with one sentence.. i will remind myself on how caring + awesome-ish he is whenever i meet him face to face and then im like.. the thing is,whats the use of having a boyfriend who text u essays of sweet mushy stuff but in real life doesnt live up to his words? might as well have a man of few words but treats u like royalty whenever u meet him <3

if he can accept me, ugly legs and all then i should learn to accept that he is just not the wordy kind of guy and sooner or later i'd grow accustomed to it,afterall we are gonna get married so texting will be out of the question once we live in the same house.......CHEY omg shut up jan