So...wassup last day of 2011

Okay so i woke up like 30 mins ago. I dreamt that some indian guy from a mama shop gave me and fathin 2 bottles of cough syrup. So when i woke up, without brushing my teeth or whatever,i went to the kitchen, looked in the fridge and got myself 2 bottles of cough syrup both having a considerable amt of syrup left. (i rly am picking a lot of bad habits frm you) And then my mum suddenly came in the picture and she said she wanna talk to me about my studies andddd-let's skip that part. So i went down got one huge bottle of coke the 1.5 litre one, cos i always see them wasted myanmar dudes at cityhall with the bigass coke bottles. and while im at it,i kinda had this conversation with...myself. "so this is ur miserable attempt of trying to get high just to fight the low?" and im like..."err,hellyeah?" so that settles our debate. But is still considered a debate eventho im talking to myself? ............so i went back home, idk wht the hell im doing, i just drank that shit-tasting syrup(all of em) and drank my coke and yea i stuffed and inhaler up my nose..... ...... ..... So i waited. And waited. And nothing happen. No sudden feeling of euphoria.
Nothing. No high. So that is my failed attempt of being a myanmar dudette. The end .............Ok wait its not THE end but its just The End of my myanmar story cos im still gonna blog and fyi im blogging on my phone, lying down, steam-eyed. While lstening to Thunder-boys like Girls,no special reason behind it, its just the first song that plays. So anyway i read my twitter timeline and theyre all so hyped up abt newyear and im here being a potato and potating the last day of 2011 away. And i kinda like this, this moment of solitary relaxation,nothing crazy nothing loud. Just me. My phone. And trippy gay songs. Then at night i will end my 2011 in a simple way. Just me. And clarity. Starting 2012 in a whole new different light, its almost like i have kaladeiscope glasses..in my mind. So yeah. And the cough syrup is upsetting my stomach but i think it also makes me feel relaxed and chillaxy and drowsy. And sleepy. And im tryna not to sleep bcos it will go to Waste, this chillaxy feeling. eventho i think the desired effect is not this, what im feeling now, i gues its better than being,FULLY conscious. This lousy kind of high is enough for me, it beats not having anything. So i think my motto of 2012 is; "I get high just to fight the low" and that is courtesy of Mr J.Cole, from a song i alwys listen to when i feel miserable and very much appropriately titled 'Cheer Up' idk why i can stand only J Cole rapping and maybe sometimes big sean. But mostly its J cole cos his songs like....speak to me. But not now. I dont want J cole to speak to me yet. I rly feel like sleeping now...omg this drowiness rly making me so light headed. Wow this is nice. Its such a harmless sensation that you feel everyday but being conscious of you feeling this way just heightens the feeling more and you know this feeling its like, just normal drowsiness but i dk la once u aware of it, u will appreciate it and notice the difference(?) dk what im talking about. Ok anyway i dont rly have 2012 resolution. I dont even want to make a resolution its just pointless,
for what? For what. Thats the two words that explains EVERYTHING abt newyr resolutions;FOR WHAT. Making resolutions is like creating false hope for the whole 12 months of 2012 cos admit it no one rly accomplishes their resolutions because they always
Set the crappiest ones that they cant even control like "i dont want to fall in love' 'single for 2012 Yay'...come on that is like pissing Fate on his face, you cant detetmine that shit,you cant. And clearly resolutions have lost their meaning because you cannot RESOLVE anything, and by resolve it means solve. And how do u solve smtg if you cant control it 'specially something intangible like feelings. If u want to be thin then obviously u cn control it, control eating habits...possible or not is another story but able to control? Yes of course. But i think i know why we say stuff like that. Its just a Way of coping with all that bullshit 2011 moments, i rly dont know how my 2012 will be,its like the foggiest year cos i dont know whats in front of me, i dont know what to expect AT ALL seriously. Last 2010 at least i havr a general Picture of whats gonna happen on 2011, i have sch to look forward to, i have like a rough sketch but for 2012 its like a completely blank slate. Idk whether i be schlin or workin idk whats so gonna happen to my social life,as scary the thought of not having a future is, its somehow exciting not to have the slightest idea. Like this line frm a movie watched. let me quote, "Just wing it.".....just fucking run ahead, and we'll deal with it when happens. Idk whether this makes e sound like a lazy,unambitious pessimist or a spontaneous risk taker. Maybe im both (pessimist 60% risk taker 40%) hey sounds like paradox, pessismistic risktaker. Willing to take a risk but alwys expecting the worst. How like that. Can make it or not in singapore like this? Haha. I am such a lost cause.

Lol all so busy planning about countdown
all busy planning what to wear
who to countdown with
WHERE to countdown,thats important!:D
haha
me?
i'll just sit at home
and burn up
like a good girl

i dont know what you want from me
lol
fun for you aint it

Oasis - Wonderwall

Coldplay - Us Against The World (Mylo Xyloto)

To feel so clear-headed but be so delusional.

"You have the power to make everything okay. 

I think that’s what kept me so sane and so happy the whole time, is my ability to disregard things and be okay with them no problem."

22 december. a few more days and it'll be the end of 2011,this year has been an awesome year for me in a sense that i learn alot of new things, did alot of new stuff and basically have 101% freedom,no holds barred.
eventho currently i am really aimless lifeless jobless school-less

2010 fireworks. such beautiful fireworks but i watched them with such a sad heart,i forced myself to go out with a boy to forget my ex and i pretended to have such a good time on countdown and it really sucked because all i keep thinking was "this is not fun. why am i here. i miss you. why." and i dont want to experience that again this year eventho i've just been dumped this month and i didnt see it coming because he seemed like he was so into me turns out that he is abit mental because he left me with no apparent reason and the reason that he gave is actually a blatant lie so basically i can conclude that he left without a reason

Kasabian - Days Are Forgotten

Lykke Li - Until We Bleed

"By Your Side" - Acoustic Sade Cover

everything about her is so beautiful

"By Your Side" - Acoustic Sade Cover

everything about her is so beautiful

"I Follow Rivers" - Lykke Li Cover

reviving the blog back to life

just showing off my pits Har Har... told you plucking is good
for anyone who shaves ur pitty hair,throw away all ur shavers.buy a plucker and start plucking those hairs,it has become my fav past time,plucking pitty hair ~(-_-)~

myra"kau nampak mak die buat die mcm anjing"

who the hell puts leashes on their children,eventho its not ard his head but still,its just not..right

OMG i just had a lightbulb-on-my-head moment
i should change my blog layout according to seasons or holidays or something!
hmm yes that will be totally cute

if there is any way possible to forget someone i dont care by what means, black magic or whatsoever, please contact me x

"why do i always get the shorter straw when it comes to love"

i can only think of that sentence right now but theres a billion thoughts running in my mind which im too tired to type down

and i look at all my blogposts
all so sad
and depressing
lol
but seriously my blog is the only place where i can ventilate my thoughts
because twitter is too...idk
and facebook is too...idk
and tellling anyone wont make a difference
idk la idk laaaaaaaaa ergh afhkagoahsfdk

cb la kalau boleh aku nak potong kepala kau, korek otak kau and know what u really think of me so i dont have to keep wondering and wondering and wondering...mentally exhausting you know

i dont deserve you.
not a single bit.
so i'll willingly
let you go
for someone who deserves you
a chinese chick maybe
or a fair-skinned malay
with cascading hair
you know you dig girls with long hair
and pretty legs
any girl,
just not me

why must you keep finding me?youre just gonna break my heart
dont find me just for the sake of ur boredom or lust
because this girl over here would think that ure finding me because you want to BE with me
so dont..
it hurts enough already

my sister is telling me a retarded story abt herself

hi guys! its been a long time huh? so yeah life's been okay to me lately, and to anyone who looks forward to my blogposts sorry to dissapoint, hm u can follow me at twitter, i am always, ALWAYS active there :) @janniwabbit

im piercing here soon, super2 stoked for this because its gonna look so good homg, i dont think it will be painful, i dont think piercings are painful except for septum and tongue 

so far life has been painful as always with the boy still being a part of it, he happily bringing home girls and idk fucking them or something and going out with them while im stuck here either crying or feeling sorry for myself but i couldnt leave him, cos he keeps coming back and making me love him all over again, lol its always like this, i accept the fact that i can never leave a guy so its good, yeah life's good 

so yes....im gonna sign the papers to officially quit sch next monday, yeah its gonna be a tough one because i will have to look at my class advisor's face that confirm will be dripping with hate cos i really always make her life difficult and also it will be embarrassing because this is my 3rd time "trying" to quit sch but this time its official because she is already not asking me whether im sure or not she just said to my mum for me to come down and sign the papers so yeah im working now, i like my job its fun the people there are fun. the pay is not fabulous or anything but it keeps me going, because my mum kinda doesnt wanna give me money no more since im a college drop out already so basically im a failure in life and yeah i cant deny it too because...i just am. for now. idk i just keep on screwing my life up and my fuck ups get worser and worser as i age...so the saying 'with age comes wisdom' basically doesn't apply to me, i mean not yet tho. i guess this is the part of my life where i will look back and regret cos i chose stupid stuff over the good stuff but then idk maybe i will also look back and wish i had been a little more wilder, or something, give ppl something to remember or stuff like that.

i dont know what im typing really i just type whatever that comes out of my mind because i know that if i stop i will find it hard to get the engine in my brain here up and running again so im typing like the wind here because i just wanna let it all out, flood it all out, and yes, thats what im planning to do now. mindless typing ok not exactly mindless typing but just typing whatever it is,not planning anything beforehand just letting my fingers dance on this keyboard, dance the night away until maybe they start slowing down and getting all worn out and asking me to give them a break because fingers can only do so much you know. okay so yes, i think what im typing here is like mush just a lot of words, a lot of paragraphs but not really content but if im saying that theres not much content here im kinda insulting my ability to type freestyle you know, which means it also insults my intelligence because ----- idk what im talking about really oh my are u still reading this crap? 

okay lets get serious. im typing with a conscience now. proof reading my sentences while typing. backspacing anything that seems retarded....so now im pausing...cos im kinda empty. my mind is a blank canvas right now. empty. nice feeling tho being empty. its like a hollow little something in your body and if you were to give my soul a little knock, i think it will sound just like you're knocking in a small room, on a wooden floor, with a basement underneath because then if you knock on it, it would sound just like that. a dull resounding thud. okay so much for typing with a conscience........

OK anyways..

i should jot down a little wishlist/to do list 

• get a good straightener one that will last with ceramic plates and will give my flat boring hair a bob hair-ish look
• dye my hair flame red like Rihanna or maybe ombre it blue or something
• i feel like dyeing my hair pink but then...neh 
• get my hip piercing
• get a belly piercing (?)
• get a tattoo......
• kidding
• im kidding about the tattoo
• chill 
• get hair extensions
• shop for clothes at some thrift shop because i seriously cant afford expensive clothes because i like to buy in bulk. and i dont usually wear things more than twice/thrice unless im desperate or unless theyre basics or jeans
• come to think of it i am a boring person and i suck at styling myself
• my eczema makes my life difficult
• because of my eczema, i cant wear those cute little shoes that looks like one a tapdancer would wear, i would wear them with little knitted socks or just plain white socks, i would look so cute but sadly i cant wear em because my legs are too fucking ugly. Great. 
• i cant wear ripped shorts because of my legs ....again
• i cant wear high waisted shorts
• i cant wear pretty dresses
• i cant wear oversized tops or oversized sweaters and look like im wearing nothing at the bottom because of my legs
• i cant wear those cute little tanktops and wear em with combat boots because of my legs unless i wear a pantyhose but then...it wont look as good or as cute 
• i cant hangout with my friends and let it all loose or just laze around in my undies without feeling self conscious infront of them
• i cant wear bikinis anymore
• so whats the point of going to a fucking beach party
• i cant turn a guy on with the lights on
• i get so sensitive every time anyone mentions anything abt legs, it hurts me when a boy i like starts checking out a chinese girl's legs (cos their legs are always skinny and flawless), it hurts whenever ppl pretend that theyre ok with me having this stupid thing but actually they are uncomfortable with it and wish i never had it, bitch i wish i dont have this too, it aint my choice 
• i cant prance around anyone's house with a cute tanktop that shows my midriff and little brief undies because my legs just fuck up my whole appearance 
• i cant go swimming at anyone's pool or condo or wildwildwet or sunway lagoon and i have to forget abt my dream of going skinny dipping
• i cant be with a boy and be comfortable in my own skin i will always have to wear long stuff to hide it and who the hell cuddles in bed wearing fucking JEANS? me! hahaha cos im a fucking eczema loser 
• i cant wear sexy dresses to go clubbing i can only wear jeans and jeans and jeans and jeans and jeans and jeans and jeans and trousers and pants and pants and jeans and trousers thats all there is 
• everything because of my legs
• my legs are destroying me 
• i swear 
• i hate them 

Adele - Someone Like You

wow

because love is about sacrificing your happiness and putting their happiness first

im so stupid
loving you makes me the
stupidest girl
in the world

James Morrison - Broken Strings ft. Nelly Furtado

do follow me on twitter! 

mention me if you want a follow back okay! 

Finally a big change for my hair after months of.....medusa's hairdo on my head

so whadya think? :p

Ameilia Lily's Judges' Houses audition - The X Factor 2011 Judges' House...

Daughtry - Life After You

This is for all who messed up a good thing and didn't get a second chance. Now pick yourself up, don't stalk, and do it right the first time with the next person. We can't take back what we say once it's said. Good luck.

maybe we'll be together, in an alternate universe, where I am a better version of myself

Now playing James Morrison feat Nelly Furtado - Broken strings

there is no school today and i woke up at 1pm

and i went to ite tamp.....just because.

sometimes i question my motive of going out because the only thing i'll end up doing is slacking. 

which is kinda pathetic 

I need to distance myself away from potential heart breaks

i need to stop contacting guys just to fill this void in my heart because i think what im doing right now is suicide. what if i fall for a certain guy, and he falls for me too? and then we get serious and then we get into a relationship? and with that comes commitment, which will then lead to fights because commitments usually adds strain to a relationship where u tend to control the person more, and then there comes third parties which will then lead to heartaches and crying and sleepless nights and coming to school in a state which i call The Zombie State where u will just stare into nothingness and it will take a toll on your studies which will spiral downwards and you will end up failing your exams = not get into an institution of your choice = not get your dream job = not get a stable career and tc of urself + parents = unable to tc of parents means unable to tc of potential husband + children = end up not getting married = parents die, dissapointed in you = siblings living their own life = while you die alone = failure in life 

im sorry but im very pessimistic tonight

i think this song makes me all saddish

screw you james morrison

Ok im lying all the above paragraph is a lie

because i love you :( 

and im such a sucky pretender :( 

why must i love you why :( 

Janet Devlin's audition - The X Factor 2011 (Full Version)

I need to let go of my ex Its already a year
You are one hell of prick
Bye.

For now I'm stuck, infatuated with a smart-mouthed pretty-faced junkie, who I pretend not to give a damn about, I always put a hard front in front of him because I know he is the kind of guy who loves the to bask in the knowledge of a girl liking him so therefore i wont give him the satisfaction of knowing. Sadly for me I think about him every conscious second and he is quite a regular act in my subconscious too... I dream of you. Bad dreams, good dreams, never wet dreams though i am not quite sure why

I hate the fact that you are not really affected by anything that i do but i know at the back of my mind you are starting to grow a fondness for me. But you, I can never trust because you are a scheming, deceiving little mother fucker but i love you and that just sucks balls

k serious aku rase mcm aku adalah perempuan paling bodoh dalam dunia. nak harapkan kau boleh buat aku bahagie, lol seriously aku blinded, dgn kate kate kau yg kau tak mean it langsung yg kau pakai berkali kali dekat berape ribu perempuan aku pun tak tau, aku tak tau siape aku dalam hidup kau, and aku tknk tahu pun, thanks seriously, thanks
im going to fuck off for now, i wont blame you because fuck it la we're both single wat the fuck do i expect sia lol. what do i fucking expect? a motherfucking commitment? lol why the fuck am i still hanging on, why the fuck? i am just a fucking rebound for you and i still hang on like an idiot


im just someone you find whenever you are bored. Honestly dude im your last resort, if your options were in a fucking barrel, i would be where you are scraping the bottom. i was so blind to not even see that i was your fucking booty call, that you want me just because it is convenient to love me because i will fucking train to boonlay which is fucking 1 hour from my place almost every week and trust me it is not a fucking joy ride okay getting there. the things i do for you hidayat. fuck you
and to think that i let myself believe that you love me? what the fuck was i thinking lol janny ure a fucking bimbo


its not funny okay because i cannot make my heart stop loving him and he is gonna keep treating me like a mother fucking option and there's not a single fucking thing i can do about it. fuck, its like im in love with 2 guys, okay wait im not in love with 2 guys, i cannot get over the other one and im in love with one....okay wait i dont love him i just like him alot....uhh kay nvm yg penting aku sakit hati sekarang 

i swear i was so messed up my brains were like scrambled eggs yesterday night. I pretty much embarrassed myself by dancing like a freakin pterodactyl (if pterodactyls could ever dance they would dance like me) in front of everyone but nah its okay i have worse moments than this...

okay anyway my 18th birthday this year is so gonna go on my list of Birthdays That totally Kickass cos i had 3 consecutive celebrations and each of the celebrations are unforgettable in their own special way 

and i mean it seriously, best fucking way to turn 18....ever. so when im 19 next year im going to really make a chalet that one i swear for all my friends cos they seriously deserve a treat from me

the thing that made it the best birthday ever is cos..not because of the cake or the presents or the clubs whatever but it is because the people that i celebrate it with. because when i look back at this in the next 5 or 10 years or so, i still wont regret celebrating with them. And i know it. i just know it and my gut feeling is always right. i dont like celebrating my birthday with a date, or a guy that i just met who promises me the world or whatever because i know things like that just dont happen with guys who make promises and breaks them just as easily as he makes them 

my ex was there too and he is one of the reasons why i still believe in love despite how fucked up the condition of my heart is right now. i don't know whats the reason he came, whether it is out of the fact that his best friend is my best friend's boyfriend or whether he is coming cos he cares for me as a friend, or he just pities me cos he knows I am still pathetically not over him yet. He may not be the most good looking of all ex-es but trust me he charms me like no other guy has with his honesty, his realness, just doing his own thing and not giving a fuck. i just love it. I can just look at him and not talk to him and i can feel my face lighting up and smiling and shit. I dont know how he does it. Seriously man

He loves to play this fucking game with me, be quiet and MIA for a few weeks/months then suddenly be all nice to me and stuff and then just as i thought things were about to get all happening, he rides off into the sunset lassoing my heart along, and just as quickly as it started, we end up being strangers again. for a second i really thought he still loves me and then the next thing i know he is off contacting another girl like what we had doesnt mean anything to him

do you know how hard it is to decipher your actions?

But i know what thing...He is just not that into me 

so i wont bother.

but i do bother...sometimes

urgh i feel so needy WHY AM I NEEDY WHY 

i have this tendency of being very mean to guys nowadays Idk why i guess its my brains' natural way of self defense after taking too much emotional turmoil 

How to Flirt

i always have this thing nowadays to fall for someone whose main objective of contacting me is to make me as a rebound of some sort. and even though i am very aware of that fact, i still cant fucking walk away from all this and thats why i am so angry. i am so angry at myself for being so stupid and i am so angry at you for making me think that there will ever be anything more than this 

Im over here trying to act like i don't care but sometimes i falter and you witness for yourself, my weakness for you showing through the cracks of this questionable wall of denial that i created for myself...i really suck at pretending. 

"Nice try" by "I am arrows"

Thanks to Friends With Benefits. this song is awesome

New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream

i was emo ok tat time
but now i ok already

Wish I could turn back time; wish it was still 2010 where everything was okay as long as you were with me. I would go all the way back to June, 2010 because I will start from the first moment I saw you, when I haven’t done anything to hurt you till you gave up on loving me. I would do anything within my power to get back the love that my own actions. Up till now, I still regret losing you. I still regret taking you for granted because you were so, so good to me and I never thought that you would leave me. I was so in love with you till I forgot the fact that there are 6 billion other human beings in this world (minus a few billion that are guys) who have the possibility to take you away from me. I forgot the fact that there are more beautiful girls out there who are much more deserving of your love than me. You loved me like a queen; you held my heart up as high as the mountains, even higher than that, as high as heaven itself. You don’t know how I think about you everyday, how my mind tortures me by giving me glimpses of you, like it wouldn’t let me forget you. Like people say, time heals. Yes, it heals, it numbs the pain, it does make me forget, but even time couldn’t fight the power of love. It’s the love that I have for you that wouldn’t stop me from moving on. Your touch, your voice, your smile, the way you held me, it still lingers, even if I scrub the skin off of me, the memory of your touch still burns me, because that is how much impact you’ve had in my life. You don’t know how special you are to me. I could close my eyes and you could give me a room full of men, I would easily pick you out just from the smell of your skin, from the heat of your body. You were that special. I swear to God that I have never ever, ever loved anyone the way I love you. Never. I’ve been lying to myself for so long that what I have after you is love but I know better than this. Until I have someone that could fill this void in my heart, you are going to keep haunting me.

Empire Of The Sun - Walking On A Dream

Arash - Broken Angel Remix

Cobra Starship: You Make Me Feel... ft. Sabi [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Peter, Bjorn & John - Young Folks

maybe its the chilli or maybe its just me

maybe its a coincidence or maybe its fate that we wore the same thing that day 

<object width="400" height="300"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=28660331&amp;server=vimeo.com&amp;show_title=0&amp;show_byline=0&amp;show_portrait=0&amp;color=00adef&amp;fullscreen=1&amp;autoplay=0&amp;loop=0" /><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=28660331&amp;server=vimeo.com&amp;show_title=0&amp;show_byline=0&amp;show_portrait=0&amp;color=00adef&amp;fullscreen=1&amp;autoplay=0&amp;loop=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/28660331">cheat.</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user2751802">nurul jannah</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

this is just for fun, was just messing around... first time uploading me singing for all to see and yah im kinda cheating by having pixie lott's voice there too. yes dont have to point it out to me i know my mustache badly in need of some threading + my teeth i know2 haha nvm la im not perfect i know 

Connie Talbot - Someone Like You Adele cover (first version)

blew. me. away.

screenshot this from my old blog

if you know, you know ok if u dunno then...aint gona help chaaa

wah last time i so semangat blog everyday update with long paragraphs, english also not that bad...now my english like...ergh CMI alr 

its rare for me to update my blog nowadays cos im getting lazier and lazier /: plus busier and busier. i am a lazy, busy person? o.0 ok anyways this is like from last week im pretty sure my blog readers who have my fb would know that.......omg i am so boring ok i seriously am losing my touch. anyway i guess since this blog is getting dusty already not alot of ppl will be reading it anymore and its good for me because i tend to be feel less restricted when i type out whats on my mind if u know what im saying

hmm me and yat.
what can i say.....
ok since i know that he doesnt have my blog link, wait, i doubt he even knows that i have a blog, i can pretty much tell u guys what i HONESTLY think of us.
do i love him? = yes i love him the way i would love a boyfriend
do i trust him = yes for now
do i think i can last long with him = no

idk i just have this feeling that there is something missing in our relationship, still figuring out whether the problem lies in me or him. me being the fact that i am expecting too much, or him performing too little. we fought once and as i expected, its abt his past. ok wait i think i know why. his past. his past is the thing that keeps haunting me since day1. i have this miserable, miserable obsession with digging up history and getting all paranoid over it but i have every reason to do so. i know that i have every reason to do so. right?

and we really have drastically different sense of humour.
i swear to god.

then u guys will think...god janny, if he is really all that, then why be with him in the first place?
ok for starters, he makes me feel..different. with taufiq, yeah its sweet you know. nicely taken couple pictures to deceive people that we're happy, sweet wallposts with pretty words but empty meanings, ambitious promises that always leaves me hanging....yeah... me and taufiq. sweet couple huh!!! :-) for those slow ppl pls know that i am being sarcastic

me and yat - its too early to tell but i know that its going to be different, i can FEEL and i KNOW its going to be different. nevermind for better or for worse. as long as it feels different its good. different is good. i dont expect a smooth journey, i know me and yat we're gonna have major differences, we're gonna have arguments over small things, third parties. definitely going to be a third party involved. see? im not stupid, i know these kind of things are bound to happen, i've laid out a mental picture of our relationship and i have prepared myself for the worst.


anyway the hype about me and taufiq has died down, finally. and now its all about whether he's dating rafika or mira or that chua girl or that girl who deleted me for idk what reason..but even with all those girls, i know deep inside he is miserable. but yeah i dont really feel much sympathy for him cos he made me pissed off a few days ago because of what he did to my mum and how unconvincing he sounds when i try to squeeze the truth out for him. dont ask me what he did cos.....i wont tell. and yes, as much as i hate him now, i will still be jealous if he finally settles down with a girl but then its a normal feeling for ex-es to have especially when we just broke up. i try to convince myself that i still love him and that i want to work things out with him, believe me i tried. but i just cant. whenever i try to revive my past feelings towards him, the only thing i feel is a dull sensation

Bimbo moments with janny

the title speaks for itself. so yeah it was my first time like officially meeting up with wirda and hanging out with her cos usually we only bump into each other and make small talk..and tats kinda it. so yeah,this is the first time like i said. she's super easy to get along with and wirda told me her sis reads my blog so i decided to suprise her sister too and i got a hug! ;) plus bat is so freakin matured and taller than i expected!

anyway i read that a lot of wirda's formspring followers ask her to do a room/house tour and i dont know why the hell she doesnt do it because her house looks like it freakin jumped out from tumblr, i swear if i were her i would like do a house tour. hell, maybe even a whole condo tour. but its good la, means she is not like those showy2 kind of ppl, and you can also tell that im a horrible person cos i would do a whole condo tour if i had a house like hers.LOL

oh and for sure we'll make another video around early september cos we're going to the upcoming beach party together. sexcited hkgiuyugk!!! so yeah, do check out her blog http://thatvainpot.blogspot.com she's awesome at make up

PS
anyway today i broke my concert virginity by going to Paramore
let me quote the awesome Ms Haley Williams: "for those who have never been to paramore, welcome to our family" she is just so real. wearing a plain black tank top and jeans and still look so beautiful. pictures from my weekend will be up soon. love you bunnies. finally a proper update all for you xoxo

idk why but yesterday night was awesome, i got the best of both worlds, i got mira - the girl who will nvr fail to layan my nonstop talking when yat is too tired to entertain me already and plenty of hugs kisses and lurve from bf. so overall it really made my night. furthermore i finished up my report already so i really2 feel liberated (for the moment) since i have more projects looming over me but nvm about that. consider this a kind of a treat for myself after like 3 days of squeezing my brains out for that assignment in which i think i did kinda badly -.-

mira i thought u were bitchy and kinda show off at first but after talking to you,ure a nice friend to be ard with,u make me laugh and stuff,donno whether ure 2 faced or not but idc about that. life is too short to be so paranoid abt these kind of things. as long as i enjoy her company,that's fine with me
xoxoxoxo

tried dyeing our hair but its still looks the same after we washed it

they say if a couple looks like siblings they can last long but sadly we only look alike in this picture

right now there's a lot of chatter abt me moving on so fast and all but then only a certain few knows the real story about why i decided to go on to the next guy. after all that experience with failed relationships and all, i am not the same girl i used to be when it comes to love. but then i will just go with the flow <3