J Cole - Show me Something Lyrics

no pictures of me for today (ugly)
today got ppl are confessing to me :/
and they say they want to tell from long long time ago but scared to tell me
but then i thought
"oh da kene tinggalkan baru nak carik aku/jack aku?"
so they gave the excuse that they want to tell me from long time ago
actually baru nk korek2 number/baru nk chat etc
idk what guys see in me
can they just fuck off and realize that im nothing?
they're so fucking blind
so so fucking blind

one day you will realize that i am not the girl that u want
i have this gut feeling
and u know my gut feeling is always right

(DUBSTEP) Kid Sister ft Kanye West - Pro Nails (Rusko Remix)

i wish i look just as nice in RL(real life) *looks up*
my hair ends growing and ugly black roots are showing.
i want to dye my hair ash brown, the Liese one. looks potentially nice lol keyword potential
or should i take the chiffon beige? im scared it would turn out a tad too light, OH SHIT MY VANS!! AT TAUFIQ'S HOUSE which means...red chucks to school -.-
ok tmr sheesha with the girls i cant wait

ok and i realize that malay guys like malay girls mixed with cheena blood?

its artsy fartsy day yesterday and baby helped me to my art. one art piece takes up the whole fucking day, since i am such a noob and this is my first time drawing an art piece.fuck dont feel like coming to school -.- should take mc today. i promise this will be the last time im not coming to school omg pls dont make this a habitual thing omg omg i dont want to be like last year :O oh and i dreamt that my class advisor reads my blog hahaha

and spending time with baby was awesome and so damn funny i swear i never laughed like this before with any other guy you know, and we would laughed at the most lamest and corniest of stuff like:

• imagining my boyfriend laughing with his hands draped around 2 human-sized chickens
• imagining me laughing with 3 chickens, 2 around my hands and 1 around my leg
• imagining an event in powerhouse where everyone is dancing and my boyfriend is flying around on top of everyone with a bow and arrow 
• imagining him doing trapeze artist stunts while mid air in powerhouse
• the part where he coconut juice splashed all over his face while he tries to open the can and i swear its funny i swear 
• the part where i scolded adib cos he was popping blackheads on taufiq's back and in the end i joined in too and he was like complaining about how happy we are popping blackheads while he is the one suffering 

and there comes a part where he comes down with uncle2 slippers WHILE wearing socks and i TRIED to not laugh but it is just SO HARD and i end up laughing everytime i look at it plus he had a hugeass paint stain at his butt and he looks so adorable when he walks in that state and it was just so funny luvluvluv i love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

 saturday night with the rest.....

i am jealous of what i am last time WTF MY HAIR

future hair in around 6 months time?

i dont have $$$ anymore = die 

yesterday kah came over to my place and i think she wants to marry my straightener

she is such a sweetheart, she came all the way from jurong to tampines at like, what, 8pm? just to accompany me while i cry and complain....and after that we camwhore

been very heartbroken due to third party..told u guys im not good enough. i guess ur type is adorable kind of girls with dimples and fats around their body unlike me..thin stick girl with no adorable-ness 

but i love him too much and i know i can never leave him, and i think that everyone deserves a 2nd chance. and i have a feeling even if he repeats it again, i will still forgive him,thats just me i can never ever ever be the one to leave unless there is totally no love anymore. i understand what he did was not because he wants to hurt me because i myself have been unfaithful and the reason for me having scandals and flings is because.... 

1) i was bored 2) cos i like the attention 3) just for the fun of it 4) cos the person is too good looking to miss out on. 

but at the end of the day...the one that i think about at night, the one that im head over heels over, is my boyfriend,the scandals dont even mean shit. so trust me i made my mistakes too last time - i met my ex while i was with him and i know its such a bitchy thing to do.so you know, all's fair now

one wrong move and the it changes the entire ballgame, i feel a little awkward being all loving towards him because i imagine him treating the other girl the same, and it just doesnt feel as exclusive as last time. i seem to appreciate my sleep a little more. nowadays,waking up isn't a normal mundane routine where i usually groggily go to the bathroom thinking of what i should do today, no, not this time. instead, i dread waking up to a new day because the moment i open my eyes from dreams i vaguely remember, i start to feel the soreness in my heart again, something that i can never feel when i am asleep

die da pandai menyundal ah lol

ok forget abt the past janny idc abt the past alr ppl have moved on ready why do i still hold grudges??i keep comparing myself to his ex-es and i keep thinking why cant i be as beautiful or as adorable as them. i keep thinking so low of myself cos its like im hovering in between,like im neither stunning nor cute and its like... im a regular thin person,i am most self conscious about my weight i find myself so uglily thin, my arms are like sticks and my legs are like...idk eww so thin like this-> || ||
plus i have such a lanky figure which makes me looks like a geek when i go to school even size XS polo tee is kinda loose on me hais. and idk why some ppl so dengki towards me, every part of me they want to criticize, from head to toe. little things they want to spot about me then die2 want to matikan i. it sucks sometimes:/ they donno how much i hate myself u know,when i go home and my complexion gets all oily and dark around the eyes and my hair is actually a mess if i dont straighten it, looking at the mirror is a total no-no whenever i am in such state, my nose is so bulbous from the front, how my lips so big and weird at the bottom and how my upperlip is so thin and gross and..and and...idk my eyebrows are never right! the fact that i am so thin doesn't make me feel sexy at all and i wish i have abit of curves or some fats around me.

idk i just wanna be the best for my boyfriend and i dont want him to be whisked away by someone else who is prettier/cuter than me that is my biggest fear everyday i spend at least a minute or two thinking abt how i could make myself look better and i will be all paranoid and think.. what if he finds a pretty girl at his school?what if they talk? what if they exchanged numbers?what if what if what if? LOL seriously thats how loser-ish i am-.-

anyway my my sister's date came and fetched her outside the house and my parents were like saying to not bring her back home so late and i am so not ready to be in her shoes me and taufiq still got a long way to go and i know that my boyfriend is the awkward kind

changing my blog layout = tiring
i did it all by myself ok so I'm proud of it *pat on ma on back*

lash drama

i don't understand why some girls put on falsies this way

dude.... total turn off
it makes your eyes look freaky, like someone pulled your eyebrows up and it got permanently stuck in that position so you look like a real live version of this -> O.O

unnatural looking falsies are also major gag-makers + puke-inducers
you know... like those mak andam ones? don't. seriously.

i like to use these types of lashes (above) instead of those (below):

they may look pretty but trust me the more natural looking ones work the best, but that's my personal opinion. to me the right lashes are important because eyes are like, usually a girl's best feature and you don't want to like make your best asset all fucked up and make you look like a tranny right

BUT i am guilty of wearing lashes like these:

those with thicker volume at the ends to give a cat eyed look which i lurveeee. oh oh! a sales girl at sasa once told me that lashes with criss cross patterns like this (below) they usually are more stronger/durable and give a voluminous effect and its true cos i own a pair of lashes like these from Canmake before i lost them -.- i always always ALWAYS lose my lashes and i have to get myself new ones every time, it's so frustrating. 

for me, personally, my trick when find lashes is i will find ones that are most similar to real lashes unless you want to look like one of the O.O girls anyway i wanna try korean lash extensions one day.but i heard they strip you of your real lashes too? i don't wanna look like i have eyelash cancer or something la!!!

so yeah that's all for today hope it enlightens u guys xx 

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now this is what i call good music

lips: Maybelline Glam Shine lipgloss in Cherry Touch
base: Face Shop make up base
foundation: ZA skin beauty liquid foundation in 22
mascara: Bourjois Volume Glamour Black & Diams mascara + Maybelline Volum' Express mascara in Black
cheeks: dab a little lipgloss on the apples of your cheeks. blend the lipgloss along the contour of your cheeks for a pretty glow, see mine?:)

hi im currently watching tutorials at youtube and i am so amazed at how they put on eyeshadow and blend all the colours together its like magic! i'm never really experimental when it comes to eyeshadows and all but those make up gurus kinda make me want to make a tutorial of my own. i think im gonna do a chocolate brown + coral eyeshadow look IF i can pull it off because i really suck at blending.

guess i won't be going out for 6 months cause im currently under MCYS curfew. they gave me the most suckiest timing ever,i have to be home by 7pm. so during these 6 months, im going to get my act together.. get some money saved up.. heal my legs.. and i'll come back with a bang! so by the time my 'probation' ends i will be legal 18 and ready to parteyyy

p/s: no wonder i was crying like crazy while watching Love and Other Drugs last night. i was pms-ing and i didn't even know it, so i am having my period right now, gotta take a nap bye xxx

i look so gross when i smile with my teeth it makes my nose flare out.
this was seriously a spur of the moment video i just want to show
minimal make up look (mascara only) + ginormous pimple + dark circles + eyebaggies

this is so for that anonymous formpsringer on wirda's fs. i hate you and consider yourself lucky cos *drum roll*....you are on my hate list! which consists of...well only you LOL. how petty can i get! but i mean you dont have to so public about not liking my blog okay i am so hurt. you don't know how much you've hurt me you anon bitch, hiding like a dog under a cloak of invisibility due to the anonymity the internet provides you with. no hard feelings about your mum though. i insult everyone's mums because i'm mean and no one likes me hardeeharhar

and let me tell you something about uniform trends that are currently circulating in my school. there's this guy who unbuttons like 4 of his shirt buttons (u know the ite uniform) and shows off his chest IN SCHOOL. his fucking chest! come on dude its okay to open like 1 or 2 buttons but 4?? to me it screams total douche. be a fucking calefare on fucking baywatch or something. seriously i dont know what makes him think he looks hot. and there's another guy who wears a maroon polo tee (normal enough) until we realize that he FOLDED THE COLLAR! he folded the collar in to make it look like a v-neck topman shirt thingy. or he cut the collar or something. and he walks around with this cocky expression with his girlfriend who i believe must have no taste in guys because she can tolerate a collar-folding-badass-wannabe who looks like..idk what to say anymore

pardon me for being being a critisizing meanie but i just cannot tolerate it. oh wait am i apologizing for being real? ok i take back my apology. maybe that's why ppl dislike my blog because im such an evil judgmental prick BOOHOOOO

well let me tell you something, you're not that much of a saint yourself.
admit it you all act like me it's just that you are in self denial. maybe your conscience tells you to act all good and shit but i know that deep inside you have this lil' meanie side whispering bad stuff and you. just. cant. make. it. stop.

kening aku mcm sial because i accidentally shaved half of it. thank god my brows grow at lightning speed i think i got like Superhuman Brow Genes. lol psycheeee! so....back to school blues. im still hogging the comp need to transfer songs to my phone can u believe that i listen to Angel by Akon while at the bus yesterday??!! that is how old and dusty my songs are geez. OK TODAY IS...baby's first day at macpherson, pls pls pls i pray no chick that will catch his eyes, so damn paranoid o.O but it's normal rite?

the whole day was mostly occupied by sleeping
and eating
and that was it
tomorrow going to my girl's wedding ceremony
and meeting baby after 4-5 days not seeing him *shnuggle3
and i realized that my lipgloss can be used as a cheek tint muahaha

movie marathon > dirty sanchez (movie i mean zzz) > paranormal activity 2 > blair witch project > dawn of the dead. i only dare to watch scary movies with people around me i am ball-less like that

in with the new out with the old - Rock Da Mic: Bow Wow Feat Jermaine Dupri

i love my sister because she got rokok
just now i went national skin centre thingy and guess what? the doctor said i can heal within a months time!!! ok this goes out to ppl with eczema Dont use soap (be it in gel form bar form or whatever form!! dettol also cannot!!),it will irritate the skin = make skin itchy + dry. instead use cleanser of pH 5.5 can be found at pharmacies Guardian Watson Unity if cannot find go national skin center near novena square there got shuttle bus if you want to go there by public transport. so now u guys can mandi without suffering cos i suffered alot ok Be sure to pat and NOT rub when drying your legs!!

ok so dermatologist gave me

• 1st cream: steroids + antibiotic cream = very powerful stuff 
• 2nd cream: steroids only = less powerful,use after usg very powerful cream for 1 week
• moisturiser from Ego (make sure ur moisturisers are suitable for sensitive skin or better use moisturizer specialized for eczema)
• pills to reduce itchiness, i just tekan one and i feel so sleepy zzz 
• and last but not least cleanser to bath with 

so yeah these are my healing tools. the doc said that one month confirm cure so im counting down the days!!!!!!!!! those with eczema pls go to a doctor and get some of that steroid stuff!! pls book for an appointment beforehand (i didnt know must have appointment i came at 11 am and had to wait until 4pm zz),consultation fee is $65 and above, haven't include price of medicine yet so if u are really desperate to cure eczema and u have cash i think u should really go for it :)

the secret to putting on mascara without smudging and all that shit that we girls hate so much? use this thingy which i dont know whats it called i bought it at novena square at Japan Home 2 bucks only!! easy application of mascara for both upper and lower lashes hehe. my lens: Freshkon sparkle and i have to buy 2 freakin boxes because my left and right eye degree different = waste of $$

The Cataracs - Top Of The World ft. DEV

bf made a tumblr do follow him ok click here

my current fav lippie! mine is in Ambrosia, ok in the website it looks like a scary tranny orange but if you put it on it morphs into a lovely coral-reddish shade. i rarely buy pinks cos my lips look retarded with pink shades-.- i don't wear it straight from the tube i usually use my index finger and swipe it on cos the colour is very concentrated so by using ur finger u tone the colour down and it gives my lips a nice tint :) price should be around SGD28 the same as MAC lipsticks so might as well u get clinique! 

awesome app i found called Happy Snap and it entertained me for a good 45 minutes (yes its free)

and guess what? one of my fb friends said that my blog improved her english cos instead of getting the usual C or D she got a B!! she jots down words from my blog and uses them for her compo!! this made my day LIKE TOTALLY MADE MY FREAKIN DAY ok anyway tmr going to national skin centre to check on my eczema cos its not getting any better in fact its getting worse. im tired of scratching and scratching and scratching and scratching so....gonna get myself diagnosed like, properly diagnosed by a proper dermatologist and find out what the fuck is causing this. i am to blame too cos i didnt really put any cream on it in fact i literally did nothing so yeah thats why its getting more fucked up. i did some research and basically what they said is... in my own words = eczema is gonna stay with u for a long time and even if it goes away, there's a high chance of it coming back and haunting the shit out of you again. thats why whenever my friends tells me to put minyak gamat or creams, i would be like screw all that it wont work! pardon me for being pessimistic but i am convinced that this kind of thing there wont be a 100% cure. ITS LIKE THE MOST STUBBORN THING EVER THIS FUCKING ECZEMA it pops out of nowhere and it clings to me and i can never ever ever get rid of it. sucks to be me

on a lighter note, i ate cheese hotdogs today (the mini ones - they tastes better than their bigger counterparts) and it is just so scrumptious. plus i still haven't satisfied my craving for thosai! imma google it now 

OMG SHUTTT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Far East Movement - If I Was You (OMG) ft Snoop Dogg

im home finally after 3 nights of lazing around at taufiq's place we literally did nothing except sleep eat and sleep more. it's a nice calming sleepover. we will wake up, he would kiss my forehead and my lips, i'll do the same and then we'll doze off again. he cooks killer black pepper beef which makes me (and him) berak2 cos of the beyond average pepper content inside. but its a shame that he sucks at cooking fries it turned mushy like mash potato but we learn to IMPROVISE so it turned into mash potato mix with chilli nom nom nom!! PLUS COCONUT JUICE AND APOLLO! we watched Inception and it was awesome seriously its a must watch but u must really concentrate on whats going on but hands down it's the best movie i've watched this month so yes anyways my mum cook ayam masak lemak which is like....orgasmiclicous 

but the cranky part was waking him up when i have to go home. dear God what unforgivable act of cruelty have i done to have a boyfriend that is SO. DAMN. HARD. TO. BE. WOKEN. UP?! seriously i almost cried while trying to wake him up. he'll be like "5 minutes..5 minutes....ZZZZZ"= repeat process 9436073603 times. and that cranky attitude of his when he wakes up makes me feel like bitch slapping him back to his mama's womb. but i hate to admit it...... i can never be mad at him for too long and i hate myself for that! he will just make up some retard face and i will crack up in no time. and i'll be like why cant you just let me be mad for at least one minute????

lol being in love makes me such a boring blogger,occasionally talking about taufiq this taufiq that which i bet you all don't give a damn about hahaha im sorry but i just...hehehe

ok yes mum bought me van houten almond chocolate. let us feast.
p/s: shuddup la i know la van houten only not godiva or what, its still chocolate ok and chocolate is masturbatively good enuf for me so fuck you!!!!!!! oh and i hate people who think that they are the only ones who can afford branded stuff eg miumiu balenciaga LV bla3 and when other ppl buy stuff like that they question the authenticity with such snobbiness in their voice!! i cannot take it! it happened so many times i cant help but say it out omg

and i discovered that im not even CLOSE to 1.55 

DEVASTATEDx1000000000000000000

and i realized how ugly i am lol not gonna take as much pictures of myself like last time 

sometimes you can tell whether the person really loves you...or not

sometimes you can tell whether he is over her...or not

no matter how much you deny, i know :-)