Pet Peeves

When people say "literally" when they mean "figuratively." 

This happens all the time to me. People say things like "I hadn't eaten all day, so I was literally starving to death!" Really? Literally starving to death? Did your stomach bloat out like those kids in Africa? Did Sally Struthers come to your rescue? I was on a date once and the girl said "I'm a Floating Assistant. I literally float from group to group." Uh-huh. So, you're a balloon of some kind then? Is your office flooded and you use water wings to get around? Argh!

Guilty. should start using 'figuratively' from now on.


Putting on a clean pair of socks, entering the bathroom or kitchen and standing in a water splash left on the floor, thus getting your clean socks wet and forcing you to change them.


When the lotion bottle suddenly has some sort of moisturizing diarrhea all over everything
You want a little bit of lotion, but no, first it won't come out at all, and then it ALL comes rushing out everywhere. What do you do with all of that lotion? Offer to "share" with strangers? Try to put it back in the bottle? Go soothe the chafed skin of the entire population of a third world country?


People who compare their relationship to Romeo and Juliet

OK, if you're 14, both of your families are in a terrible blood feud, and you're ready to kill yourself over someone you've only known for a week, you MIGHT have a point. Otherwise, you're just proving you have never read Shakespeare. Way to go, dummy.

When people push their music on me, assuming that I am going to like it the most insistent they are about how great this song or band is. IT SUCKS!

I don't like your music. I don't have to like your music. Stop pushing your crappy music on me, thinking that I am going to have an epiphany and suddenly get on my knees and thank you for introducing me to the crappy band that you like.

Paper cuts

So much hurt, yet so little to show for it.