there has been an unexpected turn of events. i feel like i am a plague, destroying everything i touch. i am such a bitch when it comes to boys. why can't i just be normal?? i just HAVE to be a freakin masochist and keep hurting myself (and others along the way) despite having so much experience on this. despite promising myself. i just HAD to feel it again. JUST HAD TO! what the fuck is wrong with me

furthermore my exams are tomorrow and i have memorized like ..... literally nothing cos i have too much bullshit stuffed in my brain